We recently committed to a very good habit, creating family financial plan and sticking to it :D. It's not like we didn't care about saving before, we always did, but we never put a lot of thought into which saving goes to what, which one is for paying kids' tuition, which one is the vacation fund and all that. We also didn't look closely into investment.
So anyway we began to manage it carefully.
- The first thing we did was to determine where we stood financially.
- We checked if we have any debts, we counted our assets, savings and calculated our expenses.
- We calculated our emergency fund (Ligwina said for a family of 2, the safe amount is 12 the times of our monthly expenses, though I think it's a bit conservative it's better to have more than less).
- We calculated how much money is needed for the kids education, all the way to universities (of course we factor in the inflation and all). The numbers obviously turn out to be ugly, but it's an eye opener and at least it helps us to plan better. And if the number one on the priority list is checked, it'll give us a sense of accomplishment and ownership because we know we're gonna do with them.
- After that, we jumped into investment and bought a few Reksadanas that we put on regular installment. We tried forex too.
Financial plan, like business plan and other plan has to be reevaluated and revised as needed, especially when there is a change in the income, be it an addition or a reduction. Or maybe there is change in plan because you no longer want that big house in Menteng and want to buy a property in Bali instead..:D..or maybe wanting to add a Hajj fund or something.
Tonight, I'm revising our family financial plan because there's quite a few of things going on. First, Oki just recently received a job offer that will give a pretty little boost of income. But, like what almost happen in everyone, when there's an increase in income, there's usually an increase in the expense too somewhere. Since his office is going to be in Kebon Jeruk area, there's no way we can only use one car. Another car is needed and thankfully it is partially supported by the company. But there still be addition to our monthly expenses like for gas, car insurance and then the yearly expenses like tax and stuff.
We also recalculated the school tuition because we want to put the kids into a better school and that school obviously has twice price tag than the other one. But we figure it doesn't hurt to try, if we don't end up achieving it at least we have enough for the second pick. It's always better to fall short from an A++ plan that it is to accomplish a B plan, right?
For universities, our plan is based on the US universities, so the kids can pay resident's fee and maybe apply for a financial aid when needed :D. For this one, I'm not sure if we should invest in IDR or USD. I think I'm just gonna save in USD. You know what's mindboggling? For Jehan 4 year university in Kansas University (excluding the living cost) is only going to cost 1/4 of her 3 year of high school. That's how crazily expensive good schools are in this town.
So yep, this is what I'm gonna do tonight.
Well I'm halfway done actually, total for Jibran elementary - universities is IDR 4,000,000,000. Jehan is gonna be more expensive because the inflation will be higher. Oh I'm so having fun with numbers, can't you tell? :D. And I'm pretty sure once I have calculated everything, the number we can invest every month will not be enough for all of these tuition fee. If that's the case, I'm sticking to the previous school :D
Jibran is a 6.5 yo first grader. Just like any other kids, there are times when he is just a bit harder to handle, although I have to admit proudly that so far, trouble is the word one would never associate with him. But I don't deny that this sixth year is the most challenging year to date.
A brunch meeting with Najelaa Shihab last Wednesday opened my eyes. She was talking about how us, as parents need to continually evolve and change and improve our parenting style because kids grow, their attitude changes as they face different kind of problems and situation. I know it seems like common sense, but it's too easy to overlook that one important thing. We seemed to over prepared when they were babies but once they turned into our little mini me's, we tend to relax a little bit because they seemed to be more independent and need us less. And suddenly office workload takes us by storm which make our time with the kids diminish as days go by.
Obviously, that statement made me wondered about what I've been doing to improve my parenting skill to Jibran. I tried to look closely to what happened between kindergarten and elementary school, and surprised that I noticed quite a few changes.
The big situation is: He has graduated from the happy kindergarten place, where school is oh so much fun. He used to wake up at 8 and came home at 12. He didn't have homework or any extra activity outside class (except for soccer every Sunday). Structured study time at home was practically non existent. But look at now? At 6:30 he already left home for his 7:15 class. He gets home at 2:00 and just last month I added his activity by registering him to Gafa for 50 minutes a day, Monday to Thursday (will stop this at the end of this month), he still goes to Soccer club every Sunday, but he now has study time every night. Oh and he gets a short homework from Gafa too. He has more subjects to learn in school, from math to English to Bahasa Indonesia, Civics, Social Studies, Science, Islamic Studies to Information Technology.
And that's only for the schedule or workload-wise. Imagine having all those addition on top of the psychological aspect of leaving his comfort zone and entering a whole new and different arena. Suddenly, he is no longer the biggest kids like he was in kindergarten because there are the 2nd, 3rd, etc graders. And there were so many of them that it must be overwhelming him. Every single person, out of the hundreds, were a stranger for him. Thank God he didn't seem to have problem adjusting to the new environment but now that I'm giving more thought about it...those drastic changes must have shaped him behavior somehow. And here's what I gathered:
- He seems to worry too much now and often think about negative outcomes. He worries about Jehan taking his toys or worry about no body pick him up from school. One time he cried worrying about me and Oki getting old and then pass away :`(. So many conversation turn into 'What if it's gone wrong scenario'. I hope this is not the case of feeling less secure :(.
- He doesn't like to be wrong!. Whether about blatant mistake like in school assignment or just when he is forgetting something. He would try to put the blame to the situation and won't admit his mistake voluntarily (This doesn't include a situation where he accidentally hurt someone though, that he would apologize right away).
- I think he is starting to take advantage of my inattention. I know it's my fault for being inconsistent. It's human nature to take advantage for his/her own benefit.
- He rarely do things at the first request. Need to be asked over and over again or until my voice has the 'Mommy means business' tone..:D
- He doesn't like to be pressured..but then again, who does? :D (some adults do work well under pressure but I don't think kids have learned how to handle that, yet).
- A bit self centered? Like when we're still on the road while his show is on, he would be unhappy and blame us why we took this road, why we spend so long at the grocery store, etc. Maybe this has to do with the limited play/TV time he has now. So when his favorite show is on, he doesn't want to miss it.
- Although he enjoys competition and can take losing gracefully, he would change rules to suit himself when his opponent is clueless.
- He enjoys being praised. I've recently read an article that six year old need more affirmation that any other ages. Pheww!
- He has difficulty making choices by what he wants/needs. This is kind of surprising as we've always let him to make decision on so many things since he was little. Now it's more like because his cousins say so or because his friends are doing it.
- He likes things that I know nothing about (and sadly have no interest). Like Animal Kaiser or Bay Blade. He loves to talk about them day and night, which I'm happy to change the conversation at the first chance :D. It's sad..but I don't want him to be consumed by those stuff either, that's why I never entertain it even further. But this makes me realized (as confirmed by Mbak Ela) that parents and kids need to have common ground, something that they can share passionately together, either about a hobby, gadget, sports..something they have in common with. Otherwise, parents and kids would easily feel disconnected from each other.
So there..a few things I have gathered for the second half of the week. I feel so bad for not realizing this from early on, I could've made his days less stressful. Oh, I also did some Googling and found out that those behavior are common characteristic for 6 yo..(..and I breathe a sigh of relief). What I wrote my sound bad, but it's actually not that bad. Most of the time, Jibran is a happy and all around good kid. He is just tasting the water. And he loves his school and does well in class :).
A brunch meeting with Najelaa Shihab last Wednesday opened my eyes. She was talking about how us, as parents need to continually evolve and change and improve our parenting style because kids grow, their attitude changes as they face different kind of problems and situation. I know it seems like common sense, but it's too easy to overlook that one important thing. We seemed to over prepared when they were babies but once they turned into our little mini me's, we tend to relax a little bit because they seemed to be more independent and need us less. And suddenly office workload takes us by storm which make our time with the kids diminish as days go by.
Obviously, that statement made me wondered about what I've been doing to improve my parenting skill to Jibran. I tried to look closely to what happened between kindergarten and elementary school, and surprised that I noticed quite a few changes.
The big situation is: He has graduated from the happy kindergarten place, where school is oh so much fun. He used to wake up at 8 and came home at 12. He didn't have homework or any extra activity outside class (except for soccer every Sunday). Structured study time at home was practically non existent. But look at now? At 6:30 he already left home for his 7:15 class. He gets home at 2:00 and just last month I added his activity by registering him to Gafa for 50 minutes a day, Monday to Thursday (will stop this at the end of this month), he still goes to Soccer club every Sunday, but he now has study time every night. Oh and he gets a short homework from Gafa too. He has more subjects to learn in school, from math to English to Bahasa Indonesia, Civics, Social Studies, Science, Islamic Studies to Information Technology.
And that's only for the schedule or workload-wise. Imagine having all those addition on top of the psychological aspect of leaving his comfort zone and entering a whole new and different arena. Suddenly, he is no longer the biggest kids like he was in kindergarten because there are the 2nd, 3rd, etc graders. And there were so many of them that it must be overwhelming him. Every single person, out of the hundreds, were a stranger for him. Thank God he didn't seem to have problem adjusting to the new environment but now that I'm giving more thought about it...those drastic changes must have shaped him behavior somehow. And here's what I gathered:
- He seems to worry too much now and often think about negative outcomes. He worries about Jehan taking his toys or worry about no body pick him up from school. One time he cried worrying about me and Oki getting old and then pass away :`(. So many conversation turn into 'What if it's gone wrong scenario'. I hope this is not the case of feeling less secure :(.
- He doesn't like to be wrong!. Whether about blatant mistake like in school assignment or just when he is forgetting something. He would try to put the blame to the situation and won't admit his mistake voluntarily (This doesn't include a situation where he accidentally hurt someone though, that he would apologize right away).
- I think he is starting to take advantage of my inattention. I know it's my fault for being inconsistent. It's human nature to take advantage for his/her own benefit.
- He rarely do things at the first request. Need to be asked over and over again or until my voice has the 'Mommy means business' tone..:D
- He doesn't like to be pressured..but then again, who does? :D (some adults do work well under pressure but I don't think kids have learned how to handle that, yet).
- A bit self centered? Like when we're still on the road while his show is on, he would be unhappy and blame us why we took this road, why we spend so long at the grocery store, etc. Maybe this has to do with the limited play/TV time he has now. So when his favorite show is on, he doesn't want to miss it.
- Although he enjoys competition and can take losing gracefully, he would change rules to suit himself when his opponent is clueless.
- He enjoys being praised. I've recently read an article that six year old need more affirmation that any other ages. Pheww!
- He has difficulty making choices by what he wants/needs. This is kind of surprising as we've always let him to make decision on so many things since he was little. Now it's more like because his cousins say so or because his friends are doing it.
- He likes things that I know nothing about (and sadly have no interest). Like Animal Kaiser or Bay Blade. He loves to talk about them day and night, which I'm happy to change the conversation at the first chance :D. It's sad..but I don't want him to be consumed by those stuff either, that's why I never entertain it even further. But this makes me realized (as confirmed by Mbak Ela) that parents and kids need to have common ground, something that they can share passionately together, either about a hobby, gadget, sports..something they have in common with. Otherwise, parents and kids would easily feel disconnected from each other.
So there..a few things I have gathered for the second half of the week. I feel so bad for not realizing this from early on, I could've made his days less stressful. Oh, I also did some Googling and found out that those behavior are common characteristic for 6 yo..(..and I breathe a sigh of relief). What I wrote my sound bad, but it's actually not that bad. Most of the time, Jibran is a happy and all around good kid. He is just tasting the water. And he loves his school and does well in class :).
It's all started when I asked my sister if she knew where to get a sewing machine. And then she said 'Mama kan punya'. I was like, really..and ran upstairs to my mom's room and asked her the sewing machine whereabouts. She pointed toward one of the corners of her room and then told me that the dynamo is somewhere in the storage. I asked mbak Nur to help me find it, while I went to..Mayestik. I got some buttons, ruler, colorful threads, etc at Toko Maju and three fabrics from Gossip Textile.
When I went back home, I tried to play around with the sewing machine, but having never touched a sewing machine before I didn't know what to do especially when not a manual instruction was presented. I didn't even know how to loop the thread around. I called my auntie, who is the designer at Sebastian Gunawan for his Bubble Line and pleaded her to come by my house to show me how to use the damn thing :D. She lives just around the corner, so it was easy for her to walk over to my house. She came around 5.30, and even she couldn't really figured it out right away.
But after working it around for half an hour she finally got the hang of it and showed me a few stuff to start. Now I know:
- how to loop the thread for the outer stitch and the inside stitch (through sekoci and all, I didn't even know we have to use two threads :p)
- how to lock the stitch
- how to transfer the thread to the sekoci..LOL..I did it manually at first :p
- how to use the zigzag stitch feature and all although we couldn't memorize the code..
Anyway, so I decided to create something easy but still useful for my first attempt. I always wanted to make a tote bag for Jibran to bring his lunch box but I didn't have a canvas fabric..but my auntie says that it's fine to use the chambray as long as it's not for heavy duty stuff..so that's why I did. She showed me how to copy the pattern (from andarastore shopping bag, hehe..Thank You Ran :D)..it was pretty easy. For the strap, I used Jibran's old belt because that's what he chose when I gave him a few choices. And he really like the finish product!!. I was literally grinning ear to ear:D. Even Jehan likes it and has been toting it around and claimed it as hers.
The second attempt, I used the same chambray fabric and made a full skirt for Jehan. The pattern is a copy from one of her skirts. It was easy breezy..really. I did it under the supervision of my aunt. I use an exposed waist band and left the hem unfinished because I kinda like it like that, besides Jehan couldn't wait to wear it..but if it frays too much I will just sew the hem next time. Jehan took of her daster immediately and demanded to wear the skirt right away. She then showed it to her Diddy and Bunda...:D.
The third attempt was just shortening the hem of Jehan Batik skirt that I got in Yogya. It came with a matching Kebaya and although the Kebaya fits her just fine, the skirt was just way to long that we have to wait for another 2-3 years to fit her. So rather than sitting there unused, I decided to make it short so it became a long skirt. That way, she can wear it to Baju Muslim day at school, or to anywhere she pleases :).
The fourth attempt, it was like 11.30, I was on a roll and wanted to make another skirt for Jehan but it was harder to concentrate cause I was getting tired, but I still did it anyway. I made another skirt which kind of like an A line skirt..but when I cut the fabric, I totally forgot to leave an extra 1-2 cm for the ..(I don't know what you call it..plisket? or what?). I just realized when I sew the two sides together that it won't have enough room for Jehan chubby legs to wiggle, let alone walk in them :D. That's when I knew I had to call it a night.
I guess I didn't do too bad for a first timer..:). Looking forward to do more. Here's my list of things to do:
- Practice another tote bag, maybe a smaller one for Jehan and a bigger one to bring extra stuff
- More circle skirts for Jehan with exposed waist band (dye the waist band first!)
- One or two easy tops for me and Jehan (sleeveless)
and then maybe next week I can learn how to:
- make a button hole
- stitch the zipper
- and so many more..
When I went back home, I tried to play around with the sewing machine, but having never touched a sewing machine before I didn't know what to do especially when not a manual instruction was presented. I didn't even know how to loop the thread around. I called my auntie, who is the designer at Sebastian Gunawan for his Bubble Line and pleaded her to come by my house to show me how to use the damn thing :D. She lives just around the corner, so it was easy for her to walk over to my house. She came around 5.30, and even she couldn't really figured it out right away.
But after working it around for half an hour she finally got the hang of it and showed me a few stuff to start. Now I know:
- how to loop the thread for the outer stitch and the inside stitch (through sekoci and all, I didn't even know we have to use two threads :p)
- how to lock the stitch
- how to transfer the thread to the sekoci..LOL..I did it manually at first :p
- how to use the zigzag stitch feature and all although we couldn't memorize the code..
Anyway, so I decided to create something easy but still useful for my first attempt. I always wanted to make a tote bag for Jibran to bring his lunch box but I didn't have a canvas fabric..but my auntie says that it's fine to use the chambray as long as it's not for heavy duty stuff..so that's why I did. She showed me how to copy the pattern (from andarastore shopping bag, hehe..Thank You Ran :D)..it was pretty easy. For the strap, I used Jibran's old belt because that's what he chose when I gave him a few choices. And he really like the finish product!!. I was literally grinning ear to ear:D. Even Jehan likes it and has been toting it around and claimed it as hers.
The second attempt, I used the same chambray fabric and made a full skirt for Jehan. The pattern is a copy from one of her skirts. It was easy breezy..really. I did it under the supervision of my aunt. I use an exposed waist band and left the hem unfinished because I kinda like it like that, besides Jehan couldn't wait to wear it..but if it frays too much I will just sew the hem next time. Jehan took of her daster immediately and demanded to wear the skirt right away. She then showed it to her Diddy and Bunda...:D.
The third attempt was just shortening the hem of Jehan Batik skirt that I got in Yogya. It came with a matching Kebaya and although the Kebaya fits her just fine, the skirt was just way to long that we have to wait for another 2-3 years to fit her. So rather than sitting there unused, I decided to make it short so it became a long skirt. That way, she can wear it to Baju Muslim day at school, or to anywhere she pleases :).
The fourth attempt, it was like 11.30, I was on a roll and wanted to make another skirt for Jehan but it was harder to concentrate cause I was getting tired, but I still did it anyway. I made another skirt which kind of like an A line skirt..but when I cut the fabric, I totally forgot to leave an extra 1-2 cm for the ..(I don't know what you call it..plisket? or what?). I just realized when I sew the two sides together that it won't have enough room for Jehan chubby legs to wiggle, let alone walk in them :D. That's when I knew I had to call it a night.
I guess I didn't do too bad for a first timer..:). Looking forward to do more. Here's my list of things to do:
- Practice another tote bag, maybe a smaller one for Jehan and a bigger one to bring extra stuff
- More circle skirts for Jehan with exposed waist band (dye the waist band first!)
- One or two easy tops for me and Jehan (sleeveless)
and then maybe next week I can learn how to:
- make a button hole
- stitch the zipper
- and so many more..