well first thing first, selamat berpuasa ya untuk semua yang merayakan..mohon maaf lahir dan batin, mudah mudahan semuanya puasa nya lancar, di bersihkan hatinya dan di tingkatkan ketakwaannya..hopefully we all can be a much better person from this moment on..=)

times like this that makes me miss home even more, there's nothing like celebrating this month back home with my family..suasananya beda banget, i miss the atmosphere when maghrib is approaching..tv tv isinya ceramah atau ngaji ngaji gitu, teh manis hangat yang udah siap di meja makan, suasana hiruk pikuk dapur dan bau masakan yang tercium dari segala penjuru rumah..hmmm.....biasanya gue paling bantuin nata nata piring, sendok dll di meja makan, most of the time it was for the 5 of us. suasana di luar rumah juga nggak kalah ramenya kan...banyak yang ngantri beli makanan dan es kelapa muda. trus malemnya tarawih..enggak lupa bawa catatan tarawih tugas dari guru agama di sekolah. dulu juga sering bantuin nyokap bikin kue kue kering, caastangles especially..yang biasanya belom nyampe lebaran juga udah abis duluan sama gue..heheh. man i haven't been home to celebrate ramadhan since 1997.

sebenernya sih it's easier to fast here, especially when it falls on winter..heheh. soalnya lebih cepet jadi nggak berasa puasa nya....this time around is still okay i guess...wait till ramadhan falls on summer time..heheh..but i'll be home by then so i'm not worry about that.:p

hari pertama, kedua, ketiga sempet lemes juga sih kemaren, mungkin belom biasa kali ya, i was okay till about 3 o'clock sebelum akhirnya pusing pusing dan kelaperan.. dan biasanya tuh setiap jam 8 pagi sama jam 3 sore gue selalu minum kopi..now that i can't do it..it's haaard to keep my eyes open, jam 8 aja udah ngantuk berat dan memang selama puasa ini jam 9 juga udah tidur sih..heheh...gimana sih padahal kan bukan mentang mentang puasa trus jadi less productive ya..:D

anyway, this time have my own ramadhan resolution ..after all this month is a perfect month for me to do some self introspection, to reflect back and think about whether i've been the person i'm longing to be in the inside. besides, end of the year is approaching, it's time to check that new year resolution list again, cross the one that i've already accomplished and work some ways to accomplish the ones that i've been postponing to do, there's only 3 months left for that. pokonya yang jelas i don't want to be wondering how the hell this month just goes like that when it ends and don't see some significant improvement. intinya sih kalo menurut gue, there's more to ramadhan than just controlling your appetite for food..gue mau lebih merasakan makna nya..dengan harapan supaya yang di dapat dari bulan ini bukan cuma rasa lapar dan dahaga aja.

gue sih bulan puasa ini resolusi nya nggak macem macem, bahkan sebenernya nggak pantes di sebut resolusi karena memang sudah seharusnya di kerjain setiap hari. gue pingin untuk nggak ketinggalan sholat, i pray everyday..but most of the time, it's not 5 times a day, mostly 3 or 4..i know shame on me yaah. this is really something that needs to be changed, apalagi sekarang kan i'll be awake during subuh time anyway, so there's no reason to miss that prayer. trus gue juga pingin nerusin ngaji..i used to read the quran every single day after maghrib prayer..but i haven't done that in the longest time, i need to make that a habit again, pretty much i only read quran during pengajian now. i've started it today though, i took the quran from the bookshelf, the cover is covered with dust..i felt really bad..then i shook the dust off before reading it from the very beginning..you know..surat al fatihah..and then without realizing it tears started rolling down my cheek..huhu..where have i been yaa, why it took me this long to pick up the quran again. all my life, i have finished reading it twice...the third one is long overdue. it's just there's always other things that seemed more important to do at that moment, i always though that i can always read the quran later. i guess i have to get rid of that mentality and need to be more grateful and just spare a little more sprituality time. it's not that i haven't been grateful..but i've just been reminded again by the email that was sent by my bestfriends. they were talking about life and how everything were so much easier back then, a life less complicated. and then one of them said how she thinks i've had it easy..and that my life is pretty much in the right order, everything is planned well and i pretty much have what i need. and she's not the first to say that..and i was like wow....just when i thought i wish things could be upgraded a little more. i guess they are right afterall, i'm lucky to have the privilege i have right now. i really should be even more thankful.

other things i need to do is to maintain silaturahmi, you know just a simple email to my other friends that we don't communicate regularly. i know a simple email can brighten someone's day, it serves like a reminder that somehow somewhere, someone is thinking about you. i need to go through my inbox too, replying all the emails i have been neglecting. i have never want be the one who burn the bridge, but somehow there's always other things to do. kan kasian aja yang emailnya belum di bales, udah nulis panjang panjang, ngeluangin waktu dan nunjukin that they care about us ehh malah di cuekin aja emailnya..*lia, amy, azlin, liza, vil, marie, ze, aan..i know you guys read this..i'll reply your email asap okay?*..trus juga emailnya mbak sofia, mbak riefna and other pln clan...they took the time to email me, padahal tau sendiri di sana internet connectionnya suka nggak bener but they gave their effort anyway. i have some friendster msgs that i haven't replied too. i also need to call my grandma a litte more often..and talk to my cousins, my uncles and my aunties, or just sms at least..*yea there's lots of sms msgs that i haven't replied*. oh..and i need to remember more birthday, i've forgotten more and more birthday lately.

truus..i must not forget about zakat, it's 2.5% of the income..and what else? oh..and i've also promised my self to cook a more variety of food, afterall, it's fasting and you need to reward yourself with some delicious food..(just try not to overeat..;)..i guess that's it..and be a better person in general, you know smile more, love more, listen more, learn more, give more, think more, help more and you know the rest..=)