HANZKY

Cihuyy..senangnya index blognya udah di benerin sama Om Udhien..emang udhien da best deh....ahuhuyyy...skarang jadi lebih enak kan ngebacanya. Tapi layoutnya emang masih standard banget sih..entar deh kapan kapan kalo sempet baru ganti2. Waahh jadi semangat pingin nulis2 niiyyy...tapi ntar aja deh, mo nerusin tugas buat ntar malem..mumpung jibrannya lagi bobo. Ngomong2 tentang Jibran..he has begun to drool..asli deh 2 minggu terakhir ini..bajunya basaahh mlulu, sehari bisa 5 kali ganti baju, akhirnya di pakein bibs aja deh lehernya. He also just discovered his fists..all he wants to do is chewing on his fist..padahal dah di pakein sarung tangan..yang ada basah semua sarung tangannya..ya udah akhirnya kadang nggak gue pakein sarung tangan..trus di emut aja terus gitu tangannya kaya makan lolipop..hehe..berisik banget lagi ngemutnya..if he isn't chewing on his fist, he is chomping on his pacifier or just chewing on anything that happens to be near his mouth..ck ck ck...babies are funny little things.

Yupe, that's my new title right now..it doesn't sound like a fancy job, does it>> but it is definitely a hard job, it's endless, it's 24/7 and you basically do the same thing over and over again. It's not like a regular job which gives you a sense of accomplishment when you're done with your project and moving on to the next one. But the reward is p r i c e l e s s!!!


Akhirnya berhenti juga gue dari kerjaan, at first i wasn't sure of what to do..should i keep working or should i quit?..but then i went back to work although i still wasn't sure that it was the right thing to do but i went ahead and gave it a shot anyway. After about two weeks, i still didnt know the right answer, my heart told me to quit but my brain forced me to work. oh well..


But then when i was about to leave work two sundays ago..i had an argument with the bitchy manager yang emang super duper jutek banget. Biasa nya gue bodo amat kalo dia bitchy gitu, bener bener nggak perduli deh dia ngomong apa juga..karena asli nggak ngaruh di gue cause she's just a nobody to me. Yang penting i like my job, i like the environment, i like most people in there...her existence didn't bother me at all. Tapi itu dulu..waktu belum ada Jibran when i had nothing to lose kalo kerja, daripada bengong bengong aja di rumah juga ngapain kan?. Sekarang situasi nya udah beda, the opportunity cost of me going to work is high up there compare to my previous situation. Sekarang dengan gue kerja i'm giving up my precious times with my little baby dan harus ngerelain orang lain untuk take over what I consider my duties, feed him, change his diaper, rock him, sing to him, console him, hug him and play with him. Makanya gue sedih banget waktu ber argument sama manager gue itu. As always.. she under appreciates my work..i know i'm far from flawless but i've done my best and i take pride of my work and i believe i am very very productive at work. Asli kesel banget banget gue sama dia, gue ngerasa udah berkorban ninggalin anak gini kok kayanya nggak worth it banget, ngapain gue kerja kalo nggak di appreciate gini..mendingan juga di rumah..ada seseorang yang butuh gue and depends on me and me only for his source of food. Akhirnya pas keluar kantor langsung telfon dendre and i cried and cried...asli sedih banget...trus akhirnya dendre langsung nyuruh berenti aja.


You see, sebenernya gue betah banget kerja disitu…pertama ngerasa nyaman aja since I work in the house of God dan jadi ngerasa lebih deket aja with the big man up there, bokap gue pernah bilang kalo tinggal di Amerika itu kayanya jauh dari tuhan, nggak pernah denger adzan, masjid juga jarang, nggak ada orang yang ngingetin kita untuk sholat, ngaji dll, well I know it’s true for most of the people..but not in my case daddy, justru gue disini ngerasa lebih deket sama tuhan sejak gue kerja disitu, jadi lebih banyak belajar tentang agama gue sendiri. Dan gue juga ngerasa kerja disitu not merely for the money –although the money is good…I couldn’t complain on that part- but also work for the betterment of the community and helping the people around. Kerja disitu juga waktu nya fleksibel..as long as I get my task done in a timely manner, that’s all that matters. Trus dengan kerja disitu gue jadi kenal banyak orang, not just random people but some important people who have made a difference to a large number of people. Banyak deh yang gue suka dari kerja disana and that’s why it was just hard for me to quit in the first place. Hmmm... I guess I should be thankful for what happened that Sunday then, cause had my manager acted like an angel that day, I would’ve been sitting on my office chair right now, and still debating whether going back to work is the right thing to do or not. My manager gave me the answer I had been looking for. Dan lucu nya.. Time Magazine and American Baby Magazine minggu lalu lagi ngebahas soal stay at home mom and why more and more young moms are deciding to stay at home. Now I believe with what Mr. Coelho said in his book…..when you want something..all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it. It’s true..it is so true..


Anyway..so I was supposed to work last Wednesday (last week), the manager was off on Wednesday (we share the same room). I did go to work, only to pick up all of my stuff, dropped the memo to the Chairman and some people including the manager, I bluntly wrote to her that the main reason I quit is because I’ve had enough of her constant moodiness and bitchiness, I dropped the key and just left. I know it is not a proper way to say good bye and I wasn’t proud of that either, I actually wanted to quit work gracefully and with dignity…but clearly I couldn’t think of anything else at that time. Yang jelas gue nggak mau untuk ketemu or even ngomong sama manager gue itu lagi…ngebayangin muka nya aja makes me wants to puke..plus I don’t care about her anyway. Yang gue pikirin ini pengurus2 yayasannya, the Imam who I really really admire and some other people that matters cause I don’t wanna burn bridges and I don’t want to leave a bad impression to them…but I guess I already did huh…


So far I’m liking my new ‘job’…i’m treasuring the moment to be with him all day long and enjoying the fact that there’s no pressure of having to be here and there at certain times, I have a much slower paced schedule. Emang sih kemaren ini kerjaannya part time, but pair that with a baby and an MBA class…it does really drain your energy. By the way, my class has started three weeks ago. Now we have a clean house since I have more time to devote to my housework..and I finally able to cook some decent meals. Pokoknya hidupnya lebih sejahtera lah…and hey maybe I'll manage to get my flabby azz back in the gym soon enough..hehe. The only down turn is..how about the $$$$??..huhu...i wish I was made of US dollar. Kalo untuk urusan household sih I’m not worry since dendre takes care of it anyway…:P...i helped a little here and there sometimes. Yang jadi nggak ada itu uang untuk keperluan gue sendiri…definitely no more Dr. Murad’s skincare then…can’t buy seven jeans..can’t afford any items at Sephora…huhuhu. I now have to cross a lot of things off of my wish list..Padahal kemaren itu baru rencana mau potong and highlight rambut..skarang mo nggak mau nge cet sendiri deh di rumah pake nice and easy…huhuhu…kasiaan deh lo han…hehehehe..

Yah kok jum'at2 gini malah ujan siihh..mana gelap banget lagi..padahal dah rencana mo jalan jalan ke mall..pusing juga tiap hari di rumah melulu..:P


Selasa kemaren Jibran ke dokter lagi, di suntik 3 kali...dua di antaranya di suntik berbarengan gitu..satu kanan satu kiri..biar sakitnya berasa sekali aja gitu maksudnya..tapi tetep aja kasian ngeliatnya kan. Jibran sekarang udah 12 pounds 3 oz..dan panjangnya udah 23 3/4 inch (60 CM)..emang dia tambah panjang nih..dulu waktu bayi cuma 2 setengah jengkal gue panjangnya..sekarang udah 3 1/2 jengkal gitu. Trus juga jibran di kasih vitamin POLYVISOL sama dokternya, multivitamin gitu...tapi kayanya jibrannya nggak suka tuuhh..abis baunya juga bau obat banget.


Apalagi yaa..sebenernya banyaaaakk banget yang mo di tulis tulis disini...hmm..tapi nanti dulu kali yaa...

Lots of new pics here..

Dendre works from home today..so he can watch siu-alabama game, it's half time now...things are not looking good....!!...anyway, its true what this girl wrote in her blog...it's always nice when daddy's home..=))


UPDATE: 3:44 PM Arrghhhh my heart is breaking...we lost by 1 point..maan...it could've gone just easily the other way around. Oh well..it's been a great season nevertheless...THANK YOU FOR THE NICE RIDE SALUKIS....looking forward for next season

Last sunday was the selection sunday, the time when the NCAA committee selects which team would be invited to the dance (NCAA Tournament), the spot is for 65 teams in which 30 something of those got an automatic bid by winning their conferences tournament. The rest are based on RPI and other things. Salukis didn't win the conference tournament...we went to see the game the previous weekend...jibran juga ikut..wearing his first jeans..hehe..we won the quarterfinals game but we lost at the semifinal...i don't wanna be a sore loser but a lot of people agreed that the official was unfair..perhaps it's an MVC conspiracy to get rid of SIU so other team can win the tournament allowing MVC to send 2 teams to the NCAA because had SIU won the title no other MVC school will get selected but if it is other school that won the game, SIU would be most likely still get selected since we have high RPI...you know what i mean..?..sending more teams to the NCAA is a big deal for every conferences as it's bring money and exposure for them..it's good for the conference.


Anyway..so our name was mentioned last sunday..as number 9 seed in the phoenix bracket..we'll be playing number 8 seed (Alabama) in Seattle this thursday..i don't know anything about alabama..but number 8 and 9 should be pretty equal...so it's a winnable game...and in college basketball game, anybody can beat anybody at anygiven time...ok unless it's seed 16 VS 1...i hope our guys will come out hot and get a deep run in the dance..If we can get by Alabama then we will face Standford in the second round..hehe..it should be an interesting game to watch.

Hari selasa kemaren Jibran had his 6 weeks dr. visit..although he is 7 week this week...dokternya fully booked gitu minggu lalu, jadi telat seminggu deh. He got 2 shots on his visit..trus abis itu di kasih tylenol tiap 4 jam for 24 hours..thank god he didn't develop a fever afterwards..mungkin karena tylenolnya kali yah..doyan banget dia di kasih tylenol..abis rasanya rasa anggur gitu..hehe. Sekarang jibran udah gede...beratnya udah 11 pounds (5kg) panjangnya udah 58 cm...beberapa bajunya udah ketat ketat gitu. Udah tambah cerewet dia akhir akhir ini...he smiles a lot dan tiap di ajak ngobrol pasti yang ketawa2 gitu..lucu deh...


Tadi gue kerja lagi..i'm not supposed to be at work on thursday but we have the banquet with the governor tonight..so there's just a lot to prepare....but i'm not going there tonight walopun di wajibin sih sebenernya tapi bodo deh..enggak penting gitu..it's funny how being a mom changes the way you see things..kayanya jadi banyak hal hal yang nggak penting, yang dulu ayo ayo aja di jabanin sekarang jadi males...i'd rather be home with my precious bundle.


Yesterday was the first day i took jibran to work...tapi kasian sih di tempat daycarenya itu berisik banget, banyak anak2 kecil lari larian..ya nggak banyak2 amat sih, about 5 of them..tapi tau sendiri anak2 yang umur 2-3 taun berisiknya kaya apa..jadi dia radaan susah tidur, jadi gue bawa aja ke ruangan gue and he slept peacefully in his carseat..pas bangun juga nyantai aja dia di carseatnya..tapi trus sempet gue balikin lagi ke daycarenya sih..tadi juga gitu pas baru nyampe kantor ternyata dia tidur di carseatnya..ya udah gue diemin aja dulu di ruangan gue. The babysitter at work is actually a pretty nice lady..but she's not the cleaniest of people...udah gitu anak2 yang disana nya gimana yah..lucu2 sih anak2nya..cuma ya masa tadi ada yang ingusan gitu lhoo meler2..aduh jorok banget kan..tadi pas liat ada anak ingusan itu pas jam 2.30..ya udah akhirnya abis itu gue langsung balik aja toh kerjaan gue udah beres..daripada jibrannya ketularan kan..sampe rumah langsung gue mandiin..di rendem di bathub nya pake air anget, trus bajunya di ganti, mittennya..selimutnya sampe cover car seatnya juga langsung di taro di tempat cucian.....biar virusnya ilang semua..hiii...now he is sleeping peacefully in his boppy pillow..he loves his boppy..he loves bath time also..seneng main air dia, kalo udah selesai mandi nya pas di angkat malah teriak2...dan yang aneh..he loves his changing table pad...tiap di gantiin diapernya disitu yang nyengir..trus kalo nangis di taro di situ langsung diem..aneh deh. dia juga seneng tuh di bawa jalan2 di mobil..dan kalo dia lagi nggak tidur..pasti setiap lampu merah atau setiap lagi brenti gitu langsung teriak2...jadi gue kalo nyetir kaya nyetir di jakarta kalo malem..pas mau deket lampu merah di pelan pelanin jalannya biar nggak kena lampu merah.

wahh belom apa2 kerjaannya udah banyak bener..organizing this banquet with the governor for next week...ngebahas issues confronting muslims of missouri and the possible solutions. Anyway..tadi pagi pagi i put Jibran at Tante Anne' house..enggak di day care sini soalnya day care sini jam 12 udah bubar cause school is done before the friday prayer..so i have to take him here in the office after that..ribet kan..padahal itu saat sibuk sibuknya. So today is the first day of work..kasian deh tadi gue sedih gitu ninggalin Jibran, biasanya pagi pagi main2 sama jibran..tadi nggak sempet karena udah sibuk siap siap, nyiapin ini itu....trus tadi pas mo berangkat dari tante anne jibrannya mukanya yang kaya mo nangis gitu..mungkin berasa kali yaahh..i hope he knows how much i love him. Waktu masih ada nyokap..gue ninggalin jibran paling sejam dua jam gitu kalo ke supermarket...tapi sekarang bakalan seharian..wahhh..sediihh...tadi aja hampir mo nangis kalo aja nggak tengsin sama si tante..hehe..i also feel so uncomfortable right now..i usually nurse him every 2 hours..wahh dah mo meledak niih rasanya..huhu.


Tadi di jalan..on the way here..i had a lot of thought in my mind..trying to justify what i'm doing..wahh ribet deh. Tapi gue kerjanya cuma part time kok..no more than 20 hours a week..baru ngatur jadwal baru..jadi kerjanya cuma rabu, jum'at sama minggu..jibran will be at the day care here on wednesday, at tante anne's house on friday...and at home with dendre on sunday..jadi biar bisa bonding anak sama bapak..hehe. Actually it's good to have my time alone out of home to keep my sanity alive so i can interact with other people (not just doing babytalk all day long..hehe)..kalo kerja juga jadi bisa get some money (wish i was made of $$$), a good way to build my resume and experience...and i can actually have intellectually stimulating activities. Abisan yah waktu baru ngelahirin itu gue kan hampir 2 minggu di rumah aja..trus pas keluar jadi kaya bolot gitu..kalo di tanya orang responnya lama..trus kayanya pikirannya blank aja dan jadi nggak PD..i felt like i was from another planet or something.


Anyway...my manager is upstairs right now..lagi tidur tiduran diw oman's lounge..perutnya keram gitu katanya..wah emang sakit sakitan mlulu tu orang..biarin deh jaidnya gue bisa browsing2 kan..hihi.

Weekend kemaren akhirnya jadi ke Carbondale..tadinya sempet mikir mau nggak jadi pergi gitu knowing mbak susi (she lives in carbondale) ternyata mau nonton juga, tadinya mo nitipin jibran di rumahnya..trus sempet bingung deh kalo mo bawa jibran kan kayanya agak agak ribet kali yah..tapi kan banyak juga bayi2 bule yang di bawa bawa nonton game gitu..jadi ya udah lah..just give it a shot kali yah..it's a must see game soalnya..it was the last home game for the season..the ticket was sold out so must be a hell of a crowd. Ya udah akhirnya jam 12 berangkat dari sini..jibran slept all the way there..it's a 2 hours drive. Sampe sana mampir ke rumahnya ben, changed his diaper..trus lunch di KAYA, a japenese/korean restaurant dan ketemuan sama nadia and her boyfriend. ANyway, nadia ini dulu waktu kecilnya di carbondale juga sama keluarga nya...bareng bareng dendre juga..jadi temen waktu kecil disitu yang baru ketemu lagi disitu juga..lucu yah...ada fred juga cowonya nadia..he's malaysian..dan ternyata dia kecilnya disitu juga..ada apa nih orang2 yang kecilnya disana pada balik lagi ke carbondale.....mungkin dulu carbondale itu indah kali yah..huehehe. Anywayy..abis makan, mampir ke rumah mbak susi..gantiin baju jibran dll trus langsung deh brangkat nonton GAMEnya. Kan jibran bobo tuh di car seatnya..trus gue taro di bawah..trus kan the crowd gave a standing ovation to willis, turner and korn..the senior player..jadinya berisik banget deh..kita pada berdiri sambil tepuk tangan..eh trus pas gue nengok ke bawah ngeliat jibran dia lagi nangis gituu...tapi suaranya ya nggak kedengeran lah..jadi cuma ngeliat muka dan gerak mulutnya aja yang lagi nangis gitu..haha..berasa kaya nonton tv yang di MUTE gitu..hihi...kasian. Tapi abis itu dia nggak nangis lagi..and just slept throughout the game, paling melek2 dikit trus tidur lagi..padahal rame nya kaya apa tuh di stadion...game nya seru banget lagii..ngomong aja harus tereak2 biar kedengeran, tapi dia asik aja tuh tidurnya. Kalo di rumah..pas dia lagi tidur siang siang..i literally have to tiptoed around apt..kalo ada bunyi dikiit aja..kaya telfon gitu...dia langsung kaget, bangun...dan biasanya kalo gue udah ngati ngati gitu...i'll be the biggest klutz ever..ntar tutup panci lah nggak sengaja jatoh..dll..hehe....!


Anyway, we won the game..we had a 22 point lead at half time but somehow blew them away and we were down by 1 point 2.5 seconds to go. The crowd went dead right away..gimana ini masa senior night kalah sih.....but then darren brooks made a hell of pass from one end to the other end, willis catched it and made a byuutiful layout....woohooo..the students stormed the court right away..see in basketball..2.5 seconds could change the way the game unfolded. By now, we're 17-0 in the conference and had one more game to go to finish the season, and that's in Northern Iowa..if we could win that game that means this season will be marked in history.. (Too bad we lost that game though..i guess no more gas left in the tank for the player...or maybe they thought they're immune to losing....kecewa sih..but oh well maybe that's what they need to gear up and get ready for the tourney this weekend)


Abis itu balik lagi ke rumah mbak susi..it was around 10 at night..and then we decided to sleep over in carbondale..daripada balik sampe st. louis jam 12 malem..nginep di super 8 motel..sebelumnya ke walmart dulu beli toiletries dll. Pas hari minggunya, we stopped by at the salukis store..beli t-shirt and sweater salukis buat weekend nanti..hehe...trus lunch at Great Wall with ben and his friends....abis itu balik dehhh..........